The light in my darkness

I don't know what it is, but this song has just touched me on such a cellular level lately. This being my first holiday season without my father, I've been on such roller coaster with my emotions. Sometimes I am so thankful that I am still here and that I have my husband and kids, but other times I am so sad for what I've lost.

I sing this song in my head all the time lately. It doesn't bring my father back, but it does provide some much needed comfort to my still-grieving soul. Plus, this being the season of my Savior's birth, its always a wonderful reminder of how He is there with me through my difficult moments...and how grateful I am that God sent His Son to be there for all of us. I may have lost my dad, but I am so blessed to always have my Father.



Happy Wednesday everyone!

My sanctuary from the storm

Isabel and I love to have Mommy/Daughter days on the weekends. Just a day for the two of us to be together without her brother distracting us from important tasks like tea parties and playing with Barbies!

I find myself looking forward to these days all week long. When I am sitting in traffic and feeling annoyed, I hear my inner voice say, "Only [insert number here] more days until Mommy/Daughter day". Isabel has even noticed that I've said how much I can't wait for our special day when I am a little stressed out. Now when she hears me sigh or sees me rub my temple, she leans over and says "Don't you wish it was Mommy/Daughter day today?" If she only knew how much I wished that on certain days! (Lately, I've heard her say that she can't wait for our special day too, which I love!)

I find comfort in knowing that this one day will be such a relaxed fun day. Not that I don't enjoy my every day life; its just that at times, being around both my kids can be exhausting. They fight a lot and as any mother knows, that can drain your joy pretty quickly. Andrew is at an age where he is still a handful- a joy for sure, but a handful too. Isabel is much easier. She knows to be quiet in stores and doesn't do the "I'm being stubborn and won't move from the toy aisle because I LOVE LOVE this truck and can't possible leave without it" thing that Andrew pulls sometimes. Isabel just walks alongside me and asks if she can help. I love that. Plus, I get plenty of one on one time with Andrew every day while Isabel is at school, but I hardly get any alone time with her. Tony doesn't get home from work until close to bedtime and once he gets home, it's the kids' special time with him.

This is why Mommy/Daughter days are so wonderful. We set aside some time either on Saturday or Sunday that is just for us girls. And it doesn't matter what we do. Sometimes we do things that we know we can't do with Andrew, like painting ceramics. (Well, I probably could take him but I'd be too afraid with his hyper energy!) Today we went to the library. We sat in the comfy chairs and read our books, enjoying the quiet atmosphere and the wonderful stories in our laps. But we also enjoyed each other. I would look up from my book and smile at her. She would look up from hers and show me a picture. It was so nice. I don't take Andrew to the library because he still struggles with being quiet. I know he will get there in time, but for now...the library is just mine and Isabel's. Our girl haven away from the craziness of our lives.

And you know what, I really couldn't think of a much better place! Books have always been one of my favorite things in the world. So many wonderful stories to take your imagination anywhere you want! To lose yourself for even just a few moments in a story of whimsy....that is priceless. I love that Isabel feels the same way about books. Today I watched her wander up and down the aisles, looking over all the children's books. She pulled one down...looked over the cover and the first page or two...debated its merits...and put it back. She repeated this many times until she finally found THE BOOK. You know, the one that makes the whole library trip complete. Her eyes lit up and she said, "This is it Mom!" and asked if we could go sit and read. I was only too happy to oblige.

We sat by the windows and enjoyed the sun streaming down on us. I looked over at my beautiful girl. I watched her mouth move as she sounded out the different words. I saw her expressions change as she looked at the illustrations on each page and I felt so much joy in my heart. I am so glad my love of books has passed to my sweet girl. I honestly believe it is one of the best gifts a person could have.

And so we read for awhile until some unruly children disrupted our little sanctuary. At that point, we looked at one another and decided to head out. With our books tucked under our arms, we held hands and walked towards the exit.

Isabel looked at me as we walked to our car and said, "I like Mommy/Daughter day". I smiled and said, "Me too."

Getting in touch with my inner domestic goddess

Do you remember my post last year about preparing for the cookie exchange with the gals at my church? Of course you do because it was hilarious!! And if you are a new reader of my blog, or simply just want to re-read that awesome post from last December, click here to read it .

Now this year, things will be different. There will be no procrastinating and waiting until the very last minute to pull 13 dozen cookies out of thin air. This year, I chose to do chocolate chip cookies. Simple and easy. One year in the future, I hope to sign up for a more complicated cookie, but until I have more baking practice under my belt, I only feel safe contributing an "easy recipe" treat to my church friends.

I went shopping last night and got all the necessary ingredients. I even bought some nice containers to put my cookies in so I don't have to deal with last year's plate fiasco. (I had frosted sugar cookies and decided to put them on Chinet plates with plastic wrap coverings. Yeah that was not a great idea because I had to stack them on top of each other to carry them to/from my car and I had to worry about smudging the frosting, etc.)

I am feeling very confident about this. I am off to a good start. Aren't you so proud of me for being a little on top of things this year? ;-)

This weekend, I will do another post with lots of pics from my baking efforts. Until then, I am off to make little cards to go with my cookie containers. Yes, you read that right...I am making little Christmas greeting cards to accompany my cookies so each recipient of my treats will get not only something yummy for their tummy, but also a little something to warm their hearts.

I just love this time of year! There are so many ways to express/indulge your love, gratitude, and joy. Cards, cookies, yummy dinners, festive decorations, thoughtfully wrapped gifts, get-togethers with loved ones, inspiring Christmas music, helping my kids bake a delicious birthday cake in honor of Jesus's birth, dressing up in our beautiful nice clothes.....and my favorite: checking out the neighborhood's lights/decorations outside!

I love that we live in a place that is relatively warm all year so we can walk around and look at all the cool displays without freezing. I remember as a kid, my cousins and I would pile into our grandparents' station wagon and they'd drive us around, looking at the lights. It was so much fun, even from inside the car. There is just something so magical about all those beautiful lights twinkling and glowing in the night. Maybe because it reminds us of the star that twinkled and shone in the sky on the night of Jesus' birth? Whatever the reason, it's special!



*sigh*

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

What did you just say?!?

Andrew has gotten very possessive of his toys lately, which I think is normal for a 3 year old. Every time he leaves the room to wash his hands or go to the bathroom, he makes an announcement: Don't touch my [insert whatever toy he was playing with here].

Now, if he just said it once, it wouldn't bother me. It's the fact that he repeats it at least 2 or 3 times EVERY TIME HE LEAVES THE ROOM that makes me absolutely bananas.

Yesterday afternoon, he got up to go the bathroom and told Isabel "don't play with my balls while I am gone" (he was playing with the tiny white balls that go to our Hungry Hungry Hippo game). She didn't answer him, being totally engrossed in her Fancy Nancy book. Not about to take this lying down, Andrew yelled "Don't touch my balls!!"

By this point in the day, I was sick of hearing this over and over so I said, "Andrew just go pee ok, no one wants to play with your balls!"

I honestly thought my husband was gonna die from laughter. :-)

I'm not too old to love Edward, right?

I went to bed at 8pm last night. I was resting comfortably even before my kids fell asleep. I am old! lol

So are you all jazzed about the New Moon premiere?! Of course you are. You know you wear your Team Edward t-shirt to bed while you gaze at the Edward posters all over your bedroom, sighing like a little 12 year old girl every time you see his beautiful face.


Maybe that's just me...

Kidding. I don't have a poster of Edward. Actually, I have a poster of the entire cast that came with my Twilight book but I have not hung it up. Its still inside my book. Honest! Wanna come over and check? ;)

(Notice there is no Team Jacob acknowledgment here. That is on purpose. I wasn't won over by him in the book, so unless the movie manages to change my mind, I shall remain adamantly Team Edward!)

My sister-in-law invited me to go the midnight showing with her tonight, but since I am so OLD and going to bed before my kids lately, I decided to pass. Instead, I told her that I would baby-sit her 12 week old son while she and her husband went. They just moved back to San Diego from Oklahoma and I am so happy! I've always really liked her and I told her that I was gonna steal her baby from her a lot to help me get over my baby fever. I just want to bath her baby and give him lots of hugs and cuddles...and then pass him back to mommy! lol I want all of the benefits of having a baby without any of the actual responsibility. You know, I essentially want to be a grandparent. And since those days are at least 20 years off (please, please God), I am glad I can still take advantage of the same built-in perks by being an auntie!

So, no New Moon for me tonight. I will just have to entertain myself with the Project Runway season finale and my new People magazine! Johhny Depp is on the cover, having won the magazine's annual Sexiest Man Alive title again, so I'll still have something "drool-worthy" to enjoy tonight! :-)

Happy Thursday everyone!

I resisted the temptation!!

I didn't open the package with my husband's Halloween costume in it! Aren't you proud of me?! I waited until he came home and then pounced on him, begging him to open it because I was dying from curiosity. lol He was going to make me wait until Halloween night, but he took pity on me. He took the package to our bedroom, opened it up and put on the costume, then came out to show off his outfit.

My daughter, upon seeing him, said "Oh my goodness, he looks so great I just have to kiss someone!" and ran around the living room. She is such a character, I just love her!

So what was the mystery costume, you might be asking yourself? He was a nobleman. It kind of looked a little like a knight costume to me, but less extravagant. It was a nice costume and all, but I couldn't help but feel a bit letdown...like, I waited all afternoon on pins and needles for that? To be fair, I probably would have felt that way no matter what the costume was...unless it was something really outrageous. (But knowing my husband, he would never choose something outrageous.) Honestly, I am just thrilled that my husband gets into the spirit of Halloween and dresses up with us. It would be such a bummer if he was the only one who didn't.

So anyway, back to my favorite subject: ME! Ok, I'm kidding, its not my favorite subject but while we are here on my blog, the focus can be on me for a little bit. I have to say, I really liked my costume this year. I was a Coffin Bride. Ooh did you get chills up and down your spine? ;-) I was going to paint my face and do my hair more wild, but since it was a rather warm night, I decided not to because I didn't want to sweat through the makeup because then I would feel icky. (I hate wearing makeup. I almost never wear it. And when its hot, you have a better chance of getting me to drink warm goat's milk than wearing makeup.)

Isabel and Andrew dressed as Tinkerbell and Peter Pan. I love matching them up. I know they won't want to wear coordinating outfits for much longer, so I am just trying to enjoy it while I can. Last year, they were Mulan and Mushu. The year before, they didn't match. (She was Dorothy and he was a cow.) But his very first Halloween, she was Jasmine and he was her pet tiger, Rajah. So cute!

I am so glad we didn't have any problems with jerks scaring my kids this year. Just lots of innocent "spooky fun" stuff...no "wet-your-pants" scary stuff. (And the one house we visited that did scare my kids, the man was so nice and talked to them, showing them that the stuff was fake. He was really nice. Thank you, Anonymous Nice Guy!)

A big thank you to my neighbor Shauna for taking some pics of us!





I just love how bored Andrew looks. lol Its like "Ok enough with the pictures, can we go now?!" ;-)

The neighborhood all around Isabel's school is so awesome for trick or treating. The families are all so friendly and really get into the spirit by decorating their yards and stuff.





It just makes the whole trick or treating experience a lot more fun. I spotted a few kids who were wearing regular clothes and carrying pillowcases, which kind of annoyed me. If you are doing that, you are basically just going door-to-door, begging for hand-outs. In my not-so-humble opinion. lol I mean come on, the whole point is to dress up! I don't know....maybe its just me but it really frosts my cookies when I see teens/tweens doing that. I just want to kick them in the pants and say, "Umm, if you don't wear a costume, you can't have any candy!!" I don't care if you trick or treat into your college years as long as you put effort into dressing up for me!! lol

Anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween!

It's almost here....

I just love Halloween! Always have. I have such wonderful childhood memories of Halloween and I love doing fun stuff with my kids so they will have wonderful memories to cherish later on.

I got my Halloween costume earlier this month. (A big "thank you" to my sister here for giving me the heads up about a great costume sale online and passing along her coupon codes to me!!) After much debating between a pink Princess Aurora costume and a black Coffin Bride costume, I finally chose to honor the scary side of Halloween and go with the Coffin Bride. I am excited about it and can't wait to get all dressed up on Saturday!

Isabel has many different costumes to choose from, so we're not sure which one she will wear on Saturday. She wore her Pocahontas costume to her school's Fall Festival AND to a Monster Jam party held by one of her friends from Girl Scouts, so she probably won't wear that one again. She has a cute Tinkerbell costume, but we'll have to see how cold it is that night!

Andrew has a cute Tigger costume that I think he will wear, but I found an adorable Pirate costume at a thrift store while I was in MN this past weekend, so he might change his mind and decide to wear that one. My mom also sent home a Peter Pan costume for him, so if Isabel goes as Tinkerbell he has the option to match her!

My husband ordered his costume while I was away this weekend and he won't tell me what it is! The package comes today in the mail and told me that I am not allowed to open it. WHAT?! Does this man not know me at all?! How can he expect me NOT to open it?!



Now granted, I only have to wait until Saturday to find out...but to me, it might as well be the rest of my life because I am not someone who can wait when I am curious about something. I am amazed that I didn't peek at the Christmas present my mother sent home with me this weekend. lol

We'll see how long this mystery package manages to remain unopened. Personally, I will consider it a victory if I make it through the afternoon without giving in. ;-)

It's only Wednesday?!

Today is one of those days.

All I want is:







and



Of course, if someone wanted to come by and make my kitchen look like this



I suppose that would be alright too. ;-)

My little merry maid

Recently, I told Isabel to go pick up her room because I was seriously afraid I was going to break either a toy or my neck just walking in the door.

She was quite agreeable, which surprised me. She just turned and said, "Ok Mom" and walked off.



What?! No hysterics? No tantrums about how unfair your life is? No endless monologues about what a wicked witch I am for making you pick up the dozens of toys I thoughtfully purchased for you?

I was shocked.

After I picked my jaw up from the floor, I went about my business for a little bit. As I was checking my email, I hear Isabel's voice behind me, asking "Mom, can you zip me up?"

I turn around and see Isabel standing in her beautiful Fancy Nancy-esque dress, waiting for me to zip up the back and tie the sash. I look at her for a minute, trying to understand what's going on.

"Umm, I thought I told you to go pick up your room."

"I know, Mom. I am getting ready."

"This is what you're wearing to clean?"

She rolls her eyes at me and says with a touch of exasperation, "Yes! I am like Giselle."



Well of course. Where was my brain? I mean, I always get dressed up in my old prom dresses when I want to scrub the floor, so why wouldn't you want to wear your nicest outfit while doing tons of bending over and sweating?

"I see." I zip her up and just let her go on her merry way, thinking that she can wear whatever she wants if it gets her to pick up her room.

As long as she doesn't call on mice and cockroaches to help her clean, we're good!

I gotta get one of these!

If any of you out there in Bloggyland ever see something like this for sale in a store or online, please let me know. I would LOVE to get one and then train my kids to obey it. Just hang it on the door whenever I have a headache...or just need 5 flippin minutes of peace and quiet!!! I figured a sign like this is sweet and simple. Besides, I don't think you'd be able to fit "Mommy is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and can't for the life of her remember why she thought it was a good idea to have kids in the first place, so you'd better stay out if you know what's good for you!!" on a small sign like that.

Think it would work? Probably not the first time, but after they ignored the sign once and had to incur my wrath, they'd probably get the idea pretty quickly! ;-)

Could you please lower your voice so the whole world doesn't hear you?!

The answer is...no.

I honestly thought the days of being embarrassed by my daughter in a public bathroom were over now that she is 7 and knows to be quiet in public spaces like that. However, all my careful teaching must have been at home taking a nap this past weekend when I was out with Isabel.

She had to go to the bathroom, as kids always do when away from home, so we stopped over and used the women's room rather than the single unit "Family Restroom" which we use whenever Andrew is with us. (For various reasons, I really don't like the Family Restroom.) Even though she can go to the bathroom by herself, she always wants me to be in the stall with her. Not sure why. Maybe she thinks I will ditch her? Whatever. I was just happy not to be using the Family Restroom.

Until Isabel opened her big, "way too honest for my taste" mouth.

After she had finished going to the bathroom, I decided to go quick because I knew we'd get about 20 steps away and my bladder would wake up and go "Oh yeah, didn't I tell you earlier, I could make a deposit too!!" So as I get ready to pee, Isabel gasps and says LOUDLY, "Eww Mom, what's that on your underwear?"

Kill me. Please. Just kill me now.

Whispering: Umm, that's a blood stain.

"Did you hurt yourself down there?"

Whispering frantically: Umm, no. Its a stain from some old blood. Oh yeah that's reassuring. God, why haven't you killed me yet, thus saving me from this conversation? It's from Mommy's period, ok? I'm fine. Just turn around and be quiet!

"Ok Mommy."

It's about this point that I am wanting to slam my head against the tiled wall, hoping that the blunt force will kill enough brain cells that I won't care if other people overheard this wonderful exchange.

We are definitely using separate stalls from now on. Either that or I need to stock up on black underwear. Hmm, I still have to take Andrew into the stall with me if I have to pee when I am out with him.

*switches over to Target.com so she can place a HUGE order for black "will hide any future blood stains" underwear.*